VIDEO IS OUT...

GUYS IT'S OUT THERE

THE VIDEO IS OUT.

IT'S SHORT.

IT'S SMALL.

I SURE WISH I WAS MORE CREATIVE.

BUT HEY,

I'M WORKING ON IT.

GO LOOK:

mashafaye.blogspot.com

EIGHTEEN...

GUYS!! so was my birthday a few days ago!!!

Plus I made a new blog that I've been dreaming to open for a while..

more like change.. it's not all the way finished, but I'm going to include 

more photography, and inspiration in there..

please go look and check out my first post + pictures (maybe even a video *shocker*) about my birthday!

 

come join me:)

click the link!

mashafaye.blogspot.com

I WANT LOVE

aren't these two just so cute?

i love being able to capture such moments..

These past few weeks, maybe even months, I started thinking about love.

What is love?

I love the people around me, my family,

but is that how it will feel when you fall in love with the one?

I don't even know how I love. I mean, I don't know the feeling of loving my family, 

I just do. I just really do love them.

But is that it?

Alright then,

how will I know when I start loving him?

How will I know he loves me?

...

and

...

will he really?

because, you see, 

i want to love and be loved..

10 TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE // PART 2

a continuation for..

DISCLAIMER: there may or may not be exactly ten tips. all these tips are collected from either my own experiences, or people close to me who have been in similar circumstances.

..and say good morning whenever you can. 

This is just a plus, once again, for you. Teachers feel good, students see that you're not some hostile animal, pluses all around. Make an effort whether you're feeling it or not, just don't overdo it. 

this. this is even smiling and it's cute 

Not of yourself. Please, not that. 

I'm talking about your expectations of how college and the people there are and should be. Maybe the title should be changed to: Don't Expect Much. Meaning, it's not going to be a walk in the park. Or maybe, it's just going to be a walk in the park. Don't expect to come in and having everything go perfectly, and especially don't go in expecting tons of new friends. Which goes on to my next tip:

Be prepared for heartbreak. And lots of it.

I think this concerns the friendship aspect more than anything else. I came in to college slightly - okay, not slightly. more like very much - expecting that I'm going to befriend people, or that people will befriend me and we will live happily ever after. Ta-da-la-la. I'm sorry. I'm a sucker for such things. I know some of you, realists, probably sighed deeply after reading this. That's okay, my family does that all the time. 

One thing is that most students in college don't care much about making friends. At least they give off a very good impression that they don't. Which is sad.

Even if you befriend them, people in college will come and go. Some are finishing up, some are transferring soon somewhere else, and who knows maybe something else. There is this guy I met in one of my classes who I've become closer-than-others-to, and BOOM! he'll be gone next semester. I almost cried. 

And you might too. 

So be careful..

please

*whispers* i know how it feels..

Please, if you don't understand something, talk to your teacher. Email, face-to-face, whatever will help you understand your situation easier and better.

Raise your hands even!
You're doing this for yourself. If you don't understand something, you won't understand whatever is related to it, and then it ends up that you don't understand anything at all. 

Although I'm pushing you so much on this, I just want to say that I don't do this enough. I actually hate doing this and I practically never do. I'm terribly shy, if you haven't yet noticed so this is something I have to work on constantly. So we can work together.

This is just something everybody most definitely should do, but nobody really does, while knowing that they most definitely should. This is basically something I'm throwing out because.. you just should.

and so should I..

*THIS. this is the most accurate description*

Just thought of this one at the last minute, but I'm so glad I got it in before I posted the.. well, post. Probably when learning something new, do it a couple times the right and taught and long way. But then..

There's nothing wrong in trying to figure out what's best and easier for you. Because what may work for one, doesn't work well enough for another. And everyone has their own way of facing and solving a problem. You know how they say, the fastest way is the way you know best. 

And, obviously, watch it, okay? Don't do something crazy and say it was just your own way of doing it. There are places and there are times, and you gotta know where to do your own "thang". I'm telling ya'll this because I believe you are all very godly and moral citizens. 

don't let me down..

AND LAST OF ALL...

In the midst of all your studious learning and time-consuming whatever, don't forget to enjoy this ride. Who knows how long it's going to last, so enjoy each moment and live it to the fullest.. back again to slamming your 100 down.

make your memories... :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so, thanks for staying for the second part of 10 Tips for Surviving College. 

Hoped you liked it, and if you didn't.. well, make your own tips and follow them to your heart's desire. Hah. MAKE YOUR OWN SHORTCUT. get it? no?.. okay.. 

I think you should to able to get that^ 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yay, I'm trying a different color, hah.

Anyway, if you enjoyed this, comment below and tell me..

what you agreed the most with?

or 

what's something you do different?

and

what's something you want to hear next?

10 TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE // PART 1

I don't know how many of you are homeschooled, but from the many blogs I've visited, I'm guessing quite a few.
Whether you are or are not homeschooled, it doesn't really matter. I just happen to share an instant personal connection with those who are, or were homeschooled, because I've been in your shoes, sister/brother/person/citizen. And it sure was one of a ride!

...

I'm glad it's over.

Don't get me wrong. I do not regret being homeschooled. And if I have children, I will do my best to see them homeschooled. Personally, I believe homeschool does have a lot of positive influence on one's life; although, I must say, there are a few minuses. But that's for another time.
The reason why I started with post about college with homeschool, is because, usually, after you're done with high school, you tend to go to college to further your education. Duh. That's what happened with me. (although I'm still not done with high school. i'm working on that at the same time I'm in college.. mwhahaha)
Anyway, it tends to be quite hard - especially on the homeschoolers, who have never, or close to never, been in public schools - to go to a public college. Not because they might have problems with socializing to real people (don't ever think that way about us - even though it's true), but because the schedule, rules, and curriculum are totally different from how it was in homeschool. You basically wear mismatched clothes and eat/sleep through all the classes in homeschool.
No..? Am I...the only..one?

Soo.. shall I begin?

DISCLAIMER: there may or may not be exactly ten tips. all these tips are collected from either my own experiences, or people close to me who have been in similar circumstances.

Oh yes, trust me, it's very scary. I know. Going into a room full of stranger danger people and maybe somehow having to interact with them, one way or another? TERRIFYING. My hands shook nonstop the first two weeks. It was that bad for me. But then, after a while, I found out that college students usually don't bite. And neither do the teachers. All you have to do, is to be chill and take it all in stride. You're not here to make bffs with everyone. And I bet the same goes for them, too, however sad it seems. 

But if you do panic, that's okay. It's normal. It's not as if after this semester I won't panic for the next one. Trust me, I will. 

Do everything. As soon as you can. Whether it's homework, classwork, registration, anything, get it off your chest. I also know this very well. And I can't stress it enough - actually, more like my mum can't. I know media somewhat glorifies procrastination - even though it says it's bad - but procrastination is not cool. It's not. It messes up your life and your priorities, and makes you miss out on important things that happen exactly when you're finishing your work the day before it's due. So do what you need and go live in peace. I'll catch up with you in a sec *get it? get it?*

Okay, so this is a very important one. I learned that carrying food with you - whether a granola bar, a drink of some sort, snacks - will never do you any harm. Food will actually keep you from harm. 

Hungry = Angry = Hangry

Yah. Don't mess with that.

Especially if you have at least four classes, like I do, without any breaks. Only five minutes to go from one class to another. Which is horrible. 

Also, don't be ashamed of eating your food. Unless it's all over you, you have to full right to eat whatever and however you want. You're hungry, you have full permission. 

just don't eat in classes where the teachers are mean..

This tip is probably the most controversial one of all. It was a very hard one for me to understand, even more to accept. I still can't even fully accept this. What I'm trying to say is, if you're working on some type of paper or project, talking about your ideas and your understandings and what you think, won't really get you anywhere. Teachers and professors want to hear what they want to, not what you say. This is unfortunately very true. And I'm not the only one to think so. If you want a good grade, you basically gotta suck up and tell them what they want to hear and read. I've tried both ways, and this is just how it is. I know, I know. It feels as if you're somehow betraying and demeaning yourself, and it feels horrible. I protested against this constantly in the beginning of my semester, but then I had to give up. I'm not saying to stoop yourself down everywhere and forever, but in most cases you will have to do so to get your good end. 

You can do whatever you want later, when you've got your doctor's degree:P

Basically, whatever you do, put in your 100 down. Slam it. You'll always feel better too. Even if you are sucking up, do it well. Haha..

..but seriously.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is it!!! 

haha just kidding. The second part is almost ready and will come out soon. 

It just turned out to be a very long post and I didn't want to have it big. Plus, I get to have a ready post for next time. Which is... 

soon. 

If not at the end of this week then most certainly next week.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

tell me what you think! 

do you agree/disagree? what can I add? any questions?

COMMENT BELOW

OHH YES. OHH NO.

Hello!!!

I HAVE MISSED THIS HOMEY BLOGGER WORLD!!!

I see many of you have kept up your amazing selves and wrote posts upon posts upon POSTS,

while I have done... nothing..?

Well, that's slightly true. But then, life has been throwing me around - quite literally - and slamming me against brick walls, concrete pavements, and possibly trying to drown me in homework. I have to admit, most of it is my fault, but it's still very painful. When I fall down, I pick myself up, only to be tripped once more into the same emotional mess I came out of. (oh no, did I just say emotions?!?)

Yeah, it's been a pretty crazy ride. 

*whispering* "it's still not over. this is only the beginning"

*high pitched scream from somewhere in the background*

But really, everything's going just dandy. 

I'm now in college.

We're moving.

I want to buy a pet pygmy goat.

I have a new crush.

But there's something else I wanted to mention. 

I want to try making a video for you guys, annnd well, also for me. I want to experience and see how it goes. Maybe post it on youtube for easier access. But I don't want people I know personally to see it, though. IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING!!! Especially the first one. But I feel as though you guys won't judge and will love me still, even though I'm such a weirdo and yah...

PLEASE! TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK!

and what you want to see

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE 

I want to do some guest posts, interview with as much as possible with you guys. I am running out of ideas what to write and I love asking people questions. So, if you are interested in doing that, PLEASE, let me know. 

CHIO..

and beautiful citizen of my blog *blowing kiss*

*LIGHT BULB FLASHING*

i shall call you citizens and you shall be my citizens 

***

GOODBYE 16 // HELLO 17

As of November 1, I am officially 17. 

I can't even believe it myself. How? How did everything fly by so fast? I'm still living. I'm still breathing. And..

Oh! How I want to return to those past days and relive my life to this moment! To fix all those stupid mistakes I've made, treasure the "right now" moments more, and fully understand that life, keeps going; no matter what. I'd get to 17 even without that desire to be there. I wish I'd known better. 

But if there would only be one thing I've learned from all those years, it's this: you CAN'T go back. The past is the past. 

As of November 1, I am officially 17.

I can't even believe it myself. How? How did everything fly by so fast? I'm still living. I'm still breathing. And..

it's beautiful.

Please excuse my childish face. I am still not allowed to try free food samples when I don't have my parents close by. *disappointed head shaking*

psst.. pssstt.. guys..
i have a couple more ideas for posts coming soon..
including school, life, fears, and lessons..
stay tuned?

THE FACTS OF HATE

i hate the fact that we can never be secure about our safety.
i hate the fact that i'm insecure about myself.
i sometimes hate the fact that i'm not like other girls.
i hate the fact that i can't feel comfortable not being in a skirt.
i hate the fact that i'm almost never comfortable around people..
even my own family
i hate the fact that i always feel like i made a mistake
and whenever people start laughing, i always wonder if i'm the one they're laughing at.
i hate pretending everything is good when everything is not
and i hate feeling bad when others have it worse.
i hate the fact that i complain.
i hate the fact that i back down on my promises.
i hate that i can't help but keep falling down
and sometimes, not even trying or wanting to get back up.
i hate the fact that even mild jokes about me or my weight hurt me.
i wish they didn't. it's not like i should care, right?
i hate the fact that i feel fat
and the fact that i don't do anything to feel better.
i hate the fact that everyone's too busy or tired to do something..
and that i'm like that too.
i hate the fact that i don't learn from my mistakes.
i hate the fact that i'm too trusting.
i hate the fact that i waste my time doing nothing when i could've done so much.
i hate the fact that i don't have any true friends.
i hate the fact that even though frankness is the way too go,
no one wants to hear it and neither do i.
i hate the fact that i get irritated when shown my faults.
i hate the fact that i'm lazy.

i hate the fact that there are more of these facts that I hate..

and i hate the fact that even though i hate all these facts

i don't do anything to change them.

QUICKIE POST

GUYZZZ...

this is getting completely messed up..

even the photos from my old posts won't show up.

I guess it all sinks down to the point that I changed admins, but still this is very sad and frustrating. I'm very disappointed. Oh 🐳..

Well, on a lighter note, I made a new page THE BUCKET which is basically a bucket list of sorts. I have only one up there right now because I forgot most of them already, but that would be totally sweet if you left a couple of YOUR ideas for a bucketlist ☺

Also, if you have any ideas for topics you would like to see on here or anything similar,

please don't hesitate to comment because honestly that really makes my day and stuff:)

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

please bear with me while I set up all this inconveniences☻


btw, follow me: 
IG: nameisayiram
twenty20: mazik

TIME MACHINE?! // NOMINATION #2

  I've never yet tried to align the text to the left on the this blog yet, so why not try it now? I'm feeling like doing something different no matter how small and insignificant it is right now.. hashtag rebel.

Just kidding ☺

Oh, stars and earth particles! I just learned how to make these keyboard emoji's!!! ☺♥☻

See.. you learn something new everyday when you choose to go the other way. *intelligent and inspiring life motivation right here*

-//-

  You might have noticed me gone from the blogger world. I, have been working on a teleporting machine and it somehow magically transported me to the wonderful state of Washington. #iwish No, but really, I've been in Washington for almost a week and a half and when I came home, we had to get ready for our church camp. I was, as a matter of fact, writing a post the day we were leaving to Washington but I had drop it because.. we were.. leaving. So I sorta have a valid excuse. Sorta.

It was fun. It was great. It was okay. I liked it. 

  No, but seriously, it was great. It all happened quite unexpectedly in the way that I had no clue whether I was going to Washington for sure till almost the last minuet. I was pretty excited to go adventuring and do something somewhere else. There wasn't really any adventuring, but I like to think there was. From this trip, I have gained many lessons in and about life and made several mental notes about changing myself. I should write them down so I wouldn't forget + they might also make a very interesting future post.. hmmmm. 

love you a Washingtooooooon..
Did I just make a pun?!?! NO WaYYY...
#nopunintended #butimlovingit

  I took this trip with my sister and her family and right before we left, I became sick to my stomach. Literally. For some reason, I started to have stomach pains. Maybe it the bacon I ate that morning, or maybe it was that I was so nervous. Because, you know, what if something happens to you or your family and then you'll never see them again or something? I prefer to die with my family around me, to be honest. But anyway, we had quite the time driving 27? 28? hours all the there. By the way, anyone living in Montana is SO lucky! The nature is just beautiful over there. If I get a travel buddy in the future, I'd definitely go exploring there a.s.a.p. I really enjoyed the time there spent camping in Idaho, swimming in amazingly clear lakes, waking up to bonfires, meeting new friends, selling firewood to fellow campers, and just joyfully living life. The only thing I'm quite sorry about was the fact that we only spent half a Sunday afternoon is the little tiny town of Walla Walla. It's just a small town but it has it's own lovely and unique tone about it. I know quite a few people there and hoped to hang out with them but fate and everything else was against us. *sad smiley face* But I promise to come back..

calm and collected.. 

 hah, NO.

more like

☻

-

I said I would return with another tagged nomination.. here it goes..

Annd.. I can't do it. The last week, something really uncomfortable happened so that I had to change my email. It's no longer lifeasmariya@gmail.com but nameisayiram@gmail.com. I'm pretty mad myself so please don't judge me. I'm just completely mad at the whole situation as well. Anyway, long story short, because I changed my email, I had to change my blogger admin or something similar and now all the people I followed before on blogger have disappeared and I can't follow anyone now? WHATT??? If anybody has a clue to what might be going on, I beg you, please help me!

EEP

Ughh.. I really don't even know where to begin. The end of last week and the start of this week had a pretty rocky time. Been bouncing from nervousness to excitement, from happy to sad, from sick to better and now back to sick, I think. Eh, this is life, so might as well go with the flow.

Anywho, the nervous part came from my piano recital which was on Friday. It wasn't my favorite one.. 'nuff said. And on Saturday morning, we had spring cleaning in our church. Then in the evening we were at my cousin's house. And that's kinda were it started. All I ate was a salad, and after that, I felt like continuously puking at everything. And everything, everything, I looked at made me feel nauseous. It was so not fun. Thankfully, after two pills of enzymes (which help with digestion and stuff like that), Sunday morning was so much better. I even formulated this theory that I hope will help me in the future. Imagine this: you have a lot of food on your plate, right? Salads, and meat, and everything like that. Each of them is delicious. But throw all that into the blender. How does it make you feel? Not that good, right? Would you eat your blend of meats and salads? Probably not. At least not with a hearty appetite. THIS is what happens in your STOMACH. Help it a little, why don't you?       I totally understand that that's pretty much exactly what the stomach is supposed to do, but be considerate and put at least a little less in there. Basically this is for me to keep in mind since I have a lot of problems with my stomach lately. But if it helps you, great!

*mini rant* if you haven't noticed

After church, some of our youth, my brothers and I decided to go, on what I call, an adventure! Basically, visiting the Sculpture Garden in Minneapolis. I have never ever been there, only heard about it and seen pictures, but my brothers have been there tons. But they were being sweet and went for me:) aww! It was great, it really was! I saw the whole cherry and spoon thing and then we walked through this place where there were other sculptures and took bunch of pictures. Then we crossed this bridge with cars whizzing past underneath. I stood came up to the edge and waved down. And people actually waved back and honked at me, can you believe that?!? That was seriously one of the best feelings ever!!!!! I really love being friendly to random strangers, and when they're friendly back at you... breathless! Pure JOY. The whole experience was phenomenal. We then walked a little farther, as soon as we got off the bridge, around a circle - I even saw a BLACK squirrel, WHAAA?? - and then back to our cars. But it was just, WOW. I even have a couple pictures to show you..:)

something like a mini walk-through botanical garden  

succulents.. 'nuff said

#cherrypickin

this was probably my favorite one

After all this, we were really hungry. Reaaally hungry. One of the guys offered to go to this restaurant called Holy Land. It's basically a mix of Middle Eastern cuisines. SO SO very good. Mmm mm mmm....

Anyway! Thanks guys for reading all this... if you did *eyebrows raised*.. sorry for the mini rant but hopefully all things will end well... 

Just noticed some more of you left a couple comments on my other posts.. gtg check em out!! :P

GARAGE SALE FINDS // DAY 7

I really really like garage sales. Especially the ones where there's a lot of good stuff for every good prices. And on Saturday my mum, my niece and I went on quite a few. Not all of them were the best ones but we did get some stuff. Here's my favorite:

little girl's dress - Cherokee - $1.00
The Trumpet of the Swan - $.50
Anne of Green Gables (complete and unabridged!!) - $.50 

Since Saturday was the last day of the garage sale, the owner had everything priced for a dollar. The dress was a definite buy - I love getting my nieces and nephews good stuff and the quality and cleanliness was great. And the books I've been wanting for a while. I'd rather have the books hard cover, but these would be great for underlining quotes and such. Although originally priced for a dollar each, I decided to take the risk of injuring my pride and bargained the books both for a dollar. Thankfully, the owner was more than willing. Whooh! I usually hate doing stuff like that, but when it comes to books.. I'm willing!

Garage sales are finally starting to pop up more now because of the warm weather and I cannot wait to find more interesting things! I remember how I used to hate them, and I could never understand people who loved them. But, honestly, thanks to books, I'm a changed person:) haha

- 

Day 7:

A show or a movie that has changed you and how?

This is like so not my favorite question because I really don't watch movies. Ah, so I can't answer this very well. But Schindler's List was quite a deeply emotional movie, although I don't really remember because I was around five or seven when we watched that. The Boy in Striped Pajamas was very sad too, as well as Anne Frank (and here I say I don't watch many movies, pshh). But I can't say any of them have changed me. I know for sure that some movies - both documentary and movies movies -  have, in some ways, changed my opinion on certain matters, but I can't think of any. I guess they weren't that special. Just kidding. :P


What are some movies that changed you?
Comment and let me know, I'm pretty curious:) 

THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS

I have absolutely no words to describe last week. No words.

Excitement, adventure, lots of bringing-me-out-of-my-bubble and making new friends, tons of walking and too little sleep, hunger and can't-eat-anymore's, laughs, butterflies-in-my-stomach's, and seeing some people for a first time since being wee kids.
And all this doesn't even explain absolutely anything.

As you know, four out of the twelve people came Wednesday evening.
And on Thursday we went to downtown Minneapolis. Oh yes. That was lovely.

a random garage. i mean, how cool and wacky is this?

It was fun but I hardly talked to anyone except my brothers (severe case of shyness and nervousness; which, let me tell you, had improved slightly over the next couple of days *self pat on the back right there*). But what a glorious time we had, walking through the downtown and seeing all those people you never get to see at home!
* The next day, Friday the twenty-fourth, was the first day of Congress. It started at 10 a.m. and ended at 10 p.m. And that was a bit of a problem since it was that way for the whole three days. I mean, that's great and all it's just that when you go to sleep at three in morning and wake up at seven, that slightly runs your energy down. And I didn't have a choice since I was the one on the couch in the living room. But, hey! that was actually pretty fun.
* Basically the same thing happened on Saturday. Some of the sermons were very good and had a deep effect on the soul and spirit; I'm very thankful for that. It was pretty hard to concentrate sometimes though because of the late and few hours of sleep. I meet some of my friends I haven't seen in a while and actually talked to those who I knew but was very shy to come up before. Those were mostly the people who pushed me out of my bubble and forced me to communicate with others :P
* Sunday was the last day. I feel like crying even right now. We had our service in a convention center and around five thousand people were present. Imagine how hard I had to cling to my brothers so I wouldn't get cut off and left behind with no phone and no clue where to go! It was that bad. But afterwards, we went back to our old church where a huge lunch/dinner for the people was prepared. There I made some more friends from Canada. *happy dance* One of the girls that I've met was soo sweet it just surprised me. I was almost speechless when talking to her. She listened so carefully to whatever I was saying that it made me feel like I was saying something utmost important. Like, how can she even do that? I've seen her before at the conference walking by, and I always imagined her being someone who looks down on other random people. But how wrong I was! I always thought I was a good judge of people. Yeah.. about that...*rubbing the back of my neck*
Anyway, we had a bonfire with a lot of the people we met at our house. My sister-in-law's family were also there. She has a brother my age that I haven't talked to since their wedding. I've seen him before and even at the congress but didn't come up to him because I didn't want to embarrass myself. Well, like imagine if I did come up to him randomly, "Hey! Do you remember me? Well of course you do, how could you not? How's life treating you?"  Yeah.. NO.
So when we came home, I was really nervous about meeting and talking to him and didn't come outside (where he was) for awhile. But courage prevailed - I'm surprised at where that came from, but then again, I couldn't hide forever - and I went out on the deck. Most of my nephews and nieces were there as well so I was like, "Hey, hey!" It was more like, "Hey, heyyy." lol
And the moment they see me, they start yelling my name and clamoring up the deck to hug and kiss me. See what an amazing aunt I am? That is SUCH a good way to introduce yourself. Like, "Hey! My name is Mariya and, oh, excuse these little cute munchkins of mine. They haven't seen me for awhile and obviously as you can see, I'm their favorite aunt." Mmmhmmm. First impression people, first impression. To tell you honestly, I've always wanted them to do that in front of somebody.. shhhh..  I came down and then we meet. And then we went to a store to get all the s'mores ingredients with his friend who is now also my friend. And then we came back. And then we made s'mores. And sang Christian songs by the bonfire with everybody with the sound of a guitar accompanying us.

And this is how the weekend of Congress came to an end.

Oh, I forgot the part where the neighbors clapped in appreciation after we finished one of the songs.

This is how beautiful life can be. If you take out all the stress of the weekend.

-

This post should have been up on the blog a long time ago. Please forgive me for still living in the past. LOVE YOU ALL<3